I Was Going To, But Now I Think I Won't

Sunday, December 15, 2002
by Scot H. Laney

I intended to write a Laney Opinion and thank ESPN/B.A.S.S. for the effort that they have made to elevate the Angler of the Year program this year. I was also going to thank them for increasing the tour payout substantially, as well as providing for an all-cash/no product purse for the first time ever (at least that I can remember) on the pro side.

I was going to do this on behalf of all tournament anglers. We certainly need these types of improvements to be made as a lot of professional fishermen are slowly starving to death.

The world may not be perfect, but ESPN/B.A.S.S. has made an honest attempt to listen to the anglers in many of these areas. Did the anglers get everything they want? Hard to say as that can be somewhat of a moving target. But tempered with the fact that ESPN/B.A.S.S. has every right to run their company as they see fit, I think the anglers had a remarkable year.

But then I started to feel bad.

First, I have to go to the store to get some Thank You notes as I see I'm out. Looking in my garage, I see that my options are my GMC Yukon XL or my Dodge 2500 pickup. These vehicles have been criticized as excessive and gas-guzzling. Apparently we are soon to go to war because of people like me.

But even if I made it to the store, I'm sure it would be a big-box discount store that is happily "rolling back the prices" even as we speak. That's great except that I have lots of friends (and even include myself here) that have had to lay off employees lately. Apparently the Chinese and their bamboo gulags are much better at "rolling back the prices" than we are, what with our family-wage jobs with actual benefits and all that stuff.

And how do I know that the Thank You notes are printed on paper grown in a renewable way and that the ink is environmentally friendly? I guess I could ask, but then I would have to walk around to find someone, and I notice now that my shoes are made by a company that takes a lot of heat for employing the aforementioned "gulagians." If I create any additional wear on them, am I simply enabling Nike's behavior?

Then, even if I could find a clear and non-offending piece of paper on which to write the note, I might be tempted to print it on my printer. Unfortunately, I have read that here in Portland, Ore. our power comes directly from hydroelectric dams that grind up little baby salmon by the millions.

I don't want to be a part of that. I like little baby salmon because they grow up to become big salmon, which I like to fish for and eat. But is it okay to eat them, what with the fact that they are better to eat if they are actually, what's the word I'm searching for?

Dead. That's it.

I hear that may be a problem, unless you're lucky enough to catch a dead one in the first place. Or I guess we could just go to the store and buy one because those fish were somehow never, what's the word I'm looking for?

Alive. That's it.

All these concerns with staying inside the white lines are starting to wear me down. I need a cup of coffee. Oops, slave labor issue coupled with shade- grown/organic/fair market price concerns. Scratch that.

So, rather than give ESPN/B.A.S.S. what I believe they have earned I'm not going to.

Better this way than risk offending anyone.